


Susbands: An Among Us AU

by Bluebird_Rose



Category: Among Us (Video Game), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Among Us (Video Game) Setting, Cannibalism, Consentacles, Dark Comedy, Happy Ending, M/M, Tentacle Sex, although technically Loki is not human, space murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:48:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27739420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluebird_Rose/pseuds/Bluebird_Rose
Summary: (Sus brusbands. Susbands. That's the title.)An Among Us AU. Who is the impostor??? Oh man you will never guess. (You will guess immediately.)You don’t have to have played Among Us to get this fic☆Almost everyone dies in this, but this is not given narrative weight. They will be revived anyway when the ship reaches its destination and the Clone Vats are activated and they are splooshed out in a weird gush of Clone Fluid, naked and pissed off. So don’t worry about it! They will all be fine. Even the people ejected into space! Just have fun with it!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki/Thor (Marvel), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 46





	Susbands: An Among Us AU

**Author's Note:**

> thank you eggchat for all the fun murder sessions
> 
> so you may find yourself thinking, wha? isn't this extremely similar to your last fic, where Loki is monstrous and powerful and Thor is a kind-hearted himbo? returning to the well twice? and here I say a) it’s a good dynamic yum yum and b) there is a major difference between the last story and this one: this time they're in space.

\----------🚀---------- 

Steve double checked for stragglers (Clint) before filing into the jumpship behind the others, closing the airlock door behind him. He buckled himself into the seat next to the command console in preparation for launch. After a quick countdown the launcher kicked, ejecting them from the port and hurling their ship through the atmosphere like a tennis ball thrown for an eager dog. They flew through the air, losing speed until they got to the peak of their arc. The boosters fired a few seconds before they went into freefall, pushing them skyward toward the edge of the atmosphere. Steve gave the crew a careful once over as he waited for them to break through into space.

They had all signed on to take a ship for a quick planet jump to deliver supplies to the MIRA base the next system over. Steve, Bucky, Nat, and Tony were old crewmates, having done dozens of these jumps together over the years. Clint had been brought in by Nat a few years back after some mysterious incident that ended with the two of them crammed into a one-man escape pod for a day and a half, and dating a month and a half after that. A few weeks ago Clint had brought on his friend Scott after he got pushed from his last crew following a messy split with his ex.

This jump they had added two new crewmates: Thor and Loki. Steve didn’t know too much about them yet, only that they had been assigned to their ship by HQ only a few hours before launch. He made a mental note to keep an eye on the two of them - there was always an adjustment period when new members were added to the crew. He pushed down a pang of anxiety; the number of crew reshuffles had increased in recent months, along with an increase in troubling rumors.

Thor and Loki sat closely together in a corner by themselves, avoiding the rest of the crew. Thor was tall and beefy, long hair tied back neatly in a plait that hit mid-back, face lightly lined with proof of its tendency toward smiles. Loki in contrast looked slightly ill, skin pale and clammy, sharp cheekbones lending his face a gaunt and skeletal air. His long dark hair was tangled and wild around his face, somehow slightly moving and drifting despite the lack of air circulation in the jumpship. He would occasionally twitch or jolt as the ship climbed through the atmosphere, and Thor would squeeze the large arm wrapped around him tighter in comfort. Poor guy - these planetside jumps could be rough if you weren't used to them.

Nat and Clint sat off to the side - Clint’s lithe form was arranged upside down in the seat with his head hanging toward the floor, buckled in only by the most technical of definitions. Nat was curled up with her legs on the seat, turned toward him. Clint was munching on a little container of kelp drop snacks, dropping the little dark beads one by one into his mouth as they laughed and talked together. Occasionally he would launch one in Nat’s direction, landing it in her mouth every time.

Bruce and Tony were strapped in on the far side, going over the details of the experiments they would be expected to run on the ship before they arrived at the delivery depot. They tossed their MIRA-issued datapad back and forth wildly as they planned and calculated and gently squabbled. 

Bucky and Scott were buckled in on the other side. Scott was looking around good-naturedly, humming a quiet little tune under his breath and bopping his head, but Bucky had already started drifting off despite the jolts of the rough takeoff. Steve took a moment to admire how the lights of the spacecraft settled in his chestnut hair, making it glow gold in places. He blew him a little kiss, and although Bucky seemingly had his eyes closed he still snapped a hand up to catch it and plant it on his own cheek before resuming his previous ersatz snooze.

After one last groan and shudder the ship finally broke through the atmosphere, pulling free of the planet’s gravity. They free floated for a few moments until the gravity engines kicked in and the autopilot started steering them toward their destination. Steve was the first to unbuckle and head for the computer, paging through the information.

“Alright team, let’s do a sitrep. We’ve done a few jumps like this before, you’re probably familiar with the routine. This ship has been in service for a while, so we’ll be running the usual repairs and maintenance. Looks like there are a few experiments running too, nothing too out of the ordinary. If you end up with any tasks you don’t know how to do, just ask myself or Natasha and we can explain.

“Oh, HQ also put out a special memo. Apparently there have been a few ships going missing, or being re-discovered floating empty through space the last few months. When the ship logs were reviewed it showed no records of anyone boarding, and only a single escape pod was launched each time. This has led HQ to believe these sabotages have been inside jobs. They have asked us to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity and report it ASAP.”

“Suspicious activity?” asked Tony. “What does that mean?”

“Activity that is suspicious,” continued Steve. “I also have reports that there are periodic oxygen leaks on the ship, so I want us all to stay in our suits. Use the comms to talk if you have to. Any questions?”

“I have questions,” said Tony. “I have many questions, starting with, ‘Why were we not told of these disappearances BEFORE we boarded this sealed jumpship and started hurtling unstoppably through the cruel and uncaring vacuum of space?’ and going down the list to the one I have at the bottom here, ‘They've been finding ships floating empty through space for months with only a single escape pod activated and none of the crew or even their horrible mangled bodies have shown up, what in the fuck?’”

“Great questions Tony, none of which I have answers for,” said Steve. “It’s almost like we have been placed here for some unknown reason by a cruel and uncaring manipulator who controls this universe and all the minutiae of our lives for its own amusement. Also HQ has provided these buttons that you can press if you are dead, to alert others.”

Tony gave him a dry look. “How are we supposed to press the buttons if we are dead.”

“I guess you are supposed to press it as you die, not before,” Steve replied with a shrug. “Or I guess whoever finds your body can also press the button.”

“Fair enough,” Tony said, after a long, displeased pause. “Then what?”

“Then we all get together in the cafeteria, throw the murderer out of the airlock, and finish the job we came here to do.”

“How are we supposed to know who the murderer is?”

“I’m sure we’ll be able to figure it out, we are all very intelligent people who have worked with each other before, except for Thor and Loki who are joining us for the first time. Plus, probably no one will even be brutally murdered at all.”

Steve was met by 5 disbelieving stares, one glassy stare accompanied by a bit of drool and a twitch, and one Thor who only had eyes for Loki.

“Let’s just do the job we came to do and make it home,” said Steve, sighing.

“Yeah!” cheered Scott supportively.

“Yeah!” yelled Clint, always happy for an excuse to yell.

“Alright,” muttered Bucky, already tired.

“SSSShssssshshshs,” hissed Loki in solidarity.

\----------🚀---------- 

A half hour later they finally found the abandoned ship they had been assigned to, The Skeld, free floating in space. Their jumpship automatically latched onto the Skeld’s airlock port, and after a final systems check they opened the airlock to access the main cabin. They each received their task lists and went their separate way as the jumpship detached and headed back planetside on autopilot.

Nat grabbed Clint by his collar and dragged him to admin, making sure they both swiped in. Clint had a bad habit of forgetting to swipe in or leaving it until later, and MIRA didn’t like to pay you for work done while you were technically off the clock. After a quick kiss on the cheek Clint headed off to Electric to repair some wires while Nat made her way to MedBay - she might as well get her mandatory health scan out of the way before starting on any other tasks, just in case she picked up a parasite or something during her time planetside. 

As she opened the sliding door to MedBay the overhead lights flickered a bit before staying solidly on. That was strange - usually MedBay was the most well-lit and well-maintained area of the ship. Perhaps this ship needed more maintenance than anticipated? A quiet hiss came from the vents as the cooling system kicked on.

She approached the scanner and started it up, logging in her information at the check-in console. She stood on the scanner pad, carefully not moving as the green lights traced up and down her form. The vent gave another little rattle as she scanned, but she couldn’t move or else she would have to start the whole scan all over again. Perhaps the HVAC needed maintenance too, just like the lights. Who knows how long it had been since this ship had had a total overhaul. Just like MIRA, to cut corners and cheap out on maintenance before sending a crew aboard. Why bring a ship to dry dock if the crew could maintain it as they go? Cheap-

\---------- 🚨 BODY DISCOVERED 🚨---------- 

tony: what?  
thor: what?  
clint:???  
steve: I just found Nat’s body in MedBay, someone killed her.  
clint: she’s dead???  
steve: Yes, people usually die when they are killed.  
clint: oh man oh man were all fucked  
clint: nat was the only one among us smart enough to solve this mystery  
tony: hey!!!!  
steve: Hey.  
bucky: hey  
scott: fair  
thor: hey  
loki: ey  
cllint: WELL ITS TRUE  
tony: alright so, what clues do we have  
steve: No clues. I just found the body. No one else was around.  
tony: where did you find the body  
steve: I just told you, in MedBay.  
scott: and did you find any clues  
steve: I just said no?  
scott: sorry I was just tryin to help  
tony: …  
tony: did anyone else just see the tentacle emerge from Snakey's helmet  
bucky: ???  
clint: who???  
loki: ?  
tony: Snake Man is sus  
bucky: ??? green?  
tony: yes, green  
Steve: Tony you gotta stop making up your own nicknames for people. No one ever knows who you are talking about.  
thor: he was with me the whole time  
thor: I saw him do garbage  
loki: garBeg  
thor: yes  
thor: tony, you are awful quick to accuse  
tony: im tellin you, i saw a tentacle emerge from his helmet!!!  
steve: Hmmm.  
steve: I think we should skip voting this time and just keep an eye on Tony.  
tony: me?!  
bruce: alright  
scott: understood  
bucky: k  
thor: ok  
loki: kkkkk k k k k  
tony: this is bullshit  
 _Steve has voted_  
 _Bucky has voted_  
 _Thor has voted_  
 _Scott has voted_  
 _Loki has voted_  
 _Bruce has voted_  
 _Tony has voted_

_No One was Ejected. (Skipped)✨_

\----------🚀---------- 

After their meeting, they made another horrific discovery - Nat’s body had disappeared. They searched the MedBay high and low but they found nothing more than a few strands of red hair and some rusty stains on the floor, leading toward the vents.

Shaken, everyone split up and returned to their tasks. Bruce tentatively shuffled down the hallway to navigation to download some data and check the ship’s heading and progress logs. The hallways were dark, and a strange skittering sound seemed to emanate from inside the walls for a moment before everything went quiet again. He checked his datapad nervously, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary - his task list was still there, the task at the top blinking gently: [DOWNLOAD DATA]. He wished MIRA would just install data cables to Admin to permit direct uploading of data - carrying everything around on their little data pads was not only inefficient, it was an unbearable security risk. But that would increase costs per ship - cheaper to replace crew and datapads than buy miles of cabling, the bastards.

He sidled into navigation to find the new guys, Loki and… Thor? Huddled together in the corner, whispering and clutching at each other's spacesuits. Thor’s faceplate was pulled open, and he was planting big reassuring kisses all over Loki’s shiny helmet. Poor guys, Natasha’s untimely death must have really shocked them - and happening on their first jump together too! He quietly plugged his datapad into the wall port and started the download, trying to give them their privacy.

“You were right, Loki,” Thor murmured quietly. “Nat had the crew’s only brain cell. It’s good you ate her first, my sweet lil monster.”

Bruce froze, deeply-buried instincts the only thing keeping his datapad clutched firmly in his suddenly trembling hand.

“Immmmmmperativeee,” responded Loki, half hiss and half growl. “Hummgry.”

“Ok sweetheart, you just stay safe here and I will get you meat this time,” Thor said, giving Loki a tight squeeze. “Poke around at the controls, make it look like you are staying busy.”

“mEat.”

“Yes, meat.♡”

“...fuck me,” Bruce whispered in horror.

“MEAT IDENTIFIED,” screeched Loki.

Bruce turned and bolted for the door at a dead sprint, leaving his datapad dangling from the download cable. He had to warn the others - if he could just get to the cafeteria and hit the emergency meeting button it would be okay, he had to believe that. He almost lost it rounding the corner to shields, feet skittering and sliding on the metal surface of the deck, but he recovered just in time to find Loki already lurking menacingly in the entrance to the lower hallway. His hair frothed madly around his face, and... were those tentacles? waving sinuously, hitting the edges of the hallway with wet splatters and squeaks as he prepared to strike.

He spun back around and found Thor standing harmlessly in the doorway he had just passed through, blocking off his retreat north. He pounded frantically at his own dead body alarm, but in an example of wonderful MIRA logic it would not go off unless his own heart had already stopped.

“Gentlemen,” he said, as calmly as he could, holding his hands out in the universal symbol of Look, I'm Unarmed and Harmless, Have Mercy and Let’s Talk about This, “Perhaps-”

Thor stepped forward and reached one strong arm out, and then Bruce spoke no more.

“Meat acquired,” said Thor. “Did you see that baby? Got him in one hit, just for you.♡♡”

“ssssssuss...tenance,” hissed Loki, squirming a few more tentacles out to disassemble the body.

Loki dragged the largest parts of the body into the vent he had just exited, for later snacking. Thor kept an eye out, ensuring all of Loki's tentacles made it back in the vent before following him with a quiet creak of undergreased hinges.

\---------- 🚨 BODY DISCOVERED 🚨---------- 

bucky: ???  
thor: where  
clint:?  
Steve: I found another body.  
Steve: Bruce’s body, in shields. Well, most of it. It was near that one vent in the corner next to the control panel.  
Steve: I didn’t see anyone else around.  
tony: stop!! finding bodies!!!  
bucky: near a vent? gotta be clint  
clint:????  
clint: i jus like hangin out near vents!!!  
clint: theyr calmin  
clint: i like the hummmmmmm  
clint: plus i think i seen green use vent  
thor: I saw Clint use a vent near navigation  
thor: i was running to the cafeteria to call an emergency meeting about it when the body was found  
bucky: !!!!  
clint: nO green vent!! plus he’s all bloody!  
loki: fluidsssssssssss  
tony: where did you see green vent, clint  
clint: i don remeber  
steve: Suspicious.  
tony: sus  
thor: sus  
 _Steve has voted_  
 _Bucky has voted_  
 _Tony has voted_  
 _Thor has voted_  
scott: clint, noooo - I believed in u (´；ω；｀)  
 _Scott has voted_  
 _Loki has voted_  
clint: noo u guys know i have the swiss cheese brain, cmon  
loki: sssss s

_Clint was not the Impostor.✨_

\----------🚀---------- 

Thor huffed a warm breath against Loki’s shiny helmet, fogging the glass. He wiped it away with a cleaning cloth, buffing out the rusty stains until it shone clean and chrome again.

“We gotta get you in a different colored suit next time,” he complained. “The green just shows blood right away. Black, or maybe red.”

Loki pouted a little bit, twisting his tentacles in a pattern Thor recognized as displeased. If for some reason it had been translated into emoji, it would have been 🥺. “Greeeeeeeeen,” he screeched adorably.

Thor gave a little chuckle, placing a strong hand on Loki’s lumpy, suspiciously mobile nape. “No, you're right. Green is your color. Anyway, let’s just hide out here for a bit, let the heat cool down. Take these WetNaps, and don’t forget them again. Put them in your lil pocket, messy scamp,” he added lovingly.

Thor returned to buffing the blood from the rest of Loki’s suit. A few stray tentacles emerged and grasped the package of WetNaps, pulling out one to dab daintily at the rusty stains splattering the arms of the spacesuit, but he left the bulk of the work to Thor.

“There you go, bud,” Thor said at last. “All clean.”

Loki gave a pleased squeal, ending in a wet crackle.

“Now tuck your tentacles in quick, before someone sees,” he added.

The next few moments could not be described in spoken language - space seemed to bend in non-euclidean ways as Loki’s visible tentacles twisted and writhed before disappearing. If it had to be expressed in text form, it could be written as:

loki: くコ:彡  
loki: くコ:

“Perf,” Thor whispered, bending down to place another lil kiss on Loki’s helmet.

“matE,” Loki whispered huskily. “love bromther. NEVER eat a Thor.”

Thor blushed, fidgeting a bit. “Maybe just a lil nibble. Sometimes. Consensually. Consensual nibble.”

“Jusss lil tassssste!” Loki moaned, re-opening his helmet. A flood of tentacles poured forth, wrapping Thor in a tight embrace. “Spaceegg.”

“What?” panted Thor, distracted.

“Tough shell, soft insides. Crack for sweet mEats.”

“Eggs… ohh, unh..."

Loki worked more and more tentacles into Thor's space suit, straining the seams. Thor quickly scrambled out of the top half, baring his soft skin to Loki’s tender touches. Two of his tentacles immediately latched on to Thor's nipples, kneading and pulling at the pinkening buds. Thor let out of a guttural moan with each tug, laying limply wrapped in his brother's loving silky appendages.

Loki deftly maneuvered Thor’s lower half out of his suit, laying it neatly to the side so it wouldn’t get spattered with fluids and cause Thor to make loud noises and angry faces at him again. He held Thor’s body aloft, securely cradled in the strongest of his appendages. His beautiful, strong brothermate, how he loved his soft pink skin and strong white teeth and all the different sounds he made. He burned in Loki’s fractured vision, heat signatures spiking, a delicious cloud of pheromones filling the small space and driving Loki into an even stronger frenzy.

He slid more tentacles around his brother’s muscular lower half, pulling his thighs apart. One tentacle slapped wetly over his hole with a covetous caress, gently pressing at the muscle as if asking politely for permission to enter. Thor jolted as much as he could in Loki’s tight hold, letting out a moan to encourage him. Loki slipped in with a deft twist of his tentacle, oozing more slick to protect his brother’s delicate hole from uncomfortable tugs. He immediately found the place that Thor liked touched best, focusing on giving his brothermate all the pleasure he could.

That was when Tony walked into Electric to calibrate the distributors. He found a horrible squirming mass of tentacles wrapped tightly around Thor’s corpse, writhing and flexing and spattered here and there with blood. Thor’s face was slack, eyes rolled to the white, face flushed with blood. Oh god, the carnage was horrific!!

Tony reached down and pounded frantically at the Body Discovered alarm, but there was no response. “WHY CAN’T I REPORT THE BODY?!” he screamed in horror. At the scream all of the tentacles froze, motionless. Thor’s head slowly turned to face tony, blinking muzzily and trying to focus, color coming back into them.

“OH, OH GOD! HE’S STILL ALIVE IN THERE?!”

Thor gave a pleasured moan, one hand reaching out blindly to grab more tentacles, pressing kisses to each one.

“...oh god he’s still alive in there,” whispered Tony, confused and at least 7% horny.

“Mind - ugh! …mind your business, unhhhhh” grunted Thor, spurting messily all over himself.

“Alright then," Tony said, utterly done. "I’m gonna call a meeting on this mess.”

\---------- 🚨 EMERGENCY MEETING 🚨---------- 

steve: Why did you call this meeting?  
scott: yeh why  
bucky: ????  
thor: yeah tony.  
thor: why.  
tony: ......  
thor: why tony.  
loki: Y y Y yyyy Y y Y  
tony: uhh ok so listen  
tony: this is going to sound totally crazy, but  
tony: like how do I put this  
tony: have u guys ever heard of hentai  
Bucky: christ  
Scott: yes  
Steve: Tony, we've talked about this. I specifically remember a very important meeting with HR last April in which this very topic was discussed. You had to sign multiple forms.  
Tony: ok no just listen tho  
Bucky: no I believe I've heard enough from you about the theoretical physics of anime tiddies  
Bucky: it’s more than any man could be expected to endure  
scott: anime tiddy physics?  
Bucky: scott, not the time bud  
Tony: no but  
Loki: ssssus  
thor: Sus  
scott: sus  
Bucky: fuckin sus  
loki: SUS SUS USS SUSUSU SUSU  
tony: ok so i don’t even know if this is POSSIBLE but  
tony: i was in electric and  
 _Bucky has voted_  
 _Thor has voted_  
 _Scott has voted_  
 _Steve has voted_  
 _Loki has voted_  
tony: i saw thor

_Tony was not the Impostor.✨_

\----------🚀---------- 

Steve and Bucky carefully studied the blurry images on the security cameras. Bucky was sitting in the cushy chair with his boots propped up on the control panel, gently rocking back and forth. He had a pen in his hand he tossed up in the air and caught, over and over. Steve stood behind him, squinting at the quad monitors suspiciously, weighing the pros and cons of snatching the pen out of the air the next time it flew by his face.

“Ok, we got Thor and Loki traveling east past the MedBay… do you see Scott?” asked Steve.

“There he is, next to the wires panel there,” Bucky said, pointing with the end of the pen.

“What is he doing?” asked Steve. “He’s just standing there in front of the panel. Is he okay?”

“You know it always takes him extra time to do the wires, he likes, to - oh yeah there he goes,” Bucky said, gesturing to the screen where Scott had just popped open his helmet and placed the ends of one of the wires in his mouth. “He likes to go by taste.”

“...Taste?”

“Apparently each of the different colors has a different flavor. The yellow audio ones apparently taste just like pepperoni.”

“Pepperoni.”

“That’s what he said. Like cheap pre-sliced pepperoni.”

“Why. Why not just match the colors. With his eyes.”

“He says it’s his little way of keeping things interesting, and getting his pepperoni fix. I think he’s just colorblind.”

“Fair enough,” Steve said with a sigh. “Do you have any tasks left?”

“I just gotta do my Med Scan and I’ll be good to go. How about you big guy?”

“All done. I think I’ll stay here and watch the cameras, but I’ll keep an eye out for you on cams.”

“Alright,” said Bucky, heaving himself out of the security chair with a grunt. He flipped his visor up and placed a playful kiss on Steve’s helmet as he spun away out of grabbing range. “Keep it warm for me, wouldya?”

Steve pressed his fingertips gently to his helmet where the fogged ghost of Bucky’s kiss still lingered. “Always, Buck.”

“Aw, you sap. Be back soon,” he said, disappearing around the corner with a wave. 

Steve watched him travel north on cams until he left camera range, waiting with baited breath until he showed up again on cams in the hallway outside MedBay. Bucky gave a cheeky little salute to the cam as he entered the MedBay, and Steve blushed slightly and blew him a self-conscious kiss before he went back to looking at the rest of the feeds.

Scott was still gumming at the wires messily, but he had spliced at least two of them correctly so Steve didn’t think it was worth intervening and giving his Hygiene Speech again. Thor and Loki still hadn’t appeared on cams yet tho - where had they gone?

“How’s it looking?” Thor asked in a booming voice, planting a strong hand on Steve’s shoulder and giving him a little shake.

Steve jumped half out of his skin, whirling around to find Thor standing there cheerfully, Loki lurking just behind him. “Where did you come from?”

“We came up the hallway as you were blowing a kiss to your handsome boy,” Thor said cheerfully. “I thought it would be rude to interrupt.”

“Terrup,” added Loki in a sibilant hiss.

“Well,” said Steve, clearing his throat. “Thank you for the consideration.”

“See anything suspicious?” asked Thor.

“Ssssssssss?”

“Just Scott eating the wires like spaghetti, but apparently that’s normal for him.”

Thor gave a booming laugh. “Yes, he seems like quite the unique character. Loki and I have finished all our tasks. How about yourself, Captain?”

“I got all mine done. Bucky just has to finish his medscan and Scott has to finish his meal and we’ll be done, I guess.”

“Excellent! I’m glad to hear that Barnes will be out of the security room for a while. I would hate for him to see this.”

“Ssssss,” Loki said, flipping up his suit visor.

“See what?”

Loki shot a sharpened tentacle out of his helmet, spearing Steve directly through the brainstem. His body hit the floor heavily and lay still.

“That,” said Thor. He carefully examined the security cams as Loki disassembled the body, tucking a few choice pieces into the vent. He saw Barnes exit the Medbay and start heading back for security.

“Time’s up Lo. Let’s go,” he said quickly.

Loki wrapped a mess of tentacles around Thor and hoisted them both into the vents just as Bucky rounded the corner into Security.

\---------- 🚨 BODY DISCOVERED 🚨---------- 

bucky: ok great, Steve is dead even though I just saw him in security like, 3 minutes ago  
bucky: it's one of y’all three, for sure  
scott: omg who  
bucky: ....  
bucky: i cant tell if you are that dumb or if you are playing 3-D chess  
bucky: but I feel like scott has been a trustworthy good boy the whole time  
scott: !!!!!!!!!! tenk yu  
thor: why are you buttering him up?  
thor: and how do we know steve was alive when you left him?  
thor: sus  
loki: sssussss  
scott: sus  
bucky: why are yOU saying sus  
scott: i just like to feel included!  
thor: i think its bucky - he’s been too quiet this whole time  
thor: scott, come on  
thor: look at my face  
thor: look how soft and calming my beard is  
thor: its bucky  
loki: kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  
 _Thor has voted_  
 _Loki has voted_  
scott: ye alright  
 _Scott has voted_  
bucky: scott nO  
scott: :o

_Bucky was not the Impostor.✨_

\----------🚀---------- 

Thor and Loki sat cuddled together in the escape pod of the empty ship, Loki still nibbling on a particularly tender piece of Scott. His suit writhed and jerked in strange ways, the body underneath ill-suited for being constrained to a 4-limbed container. He needed just a few more hours to digest and then they could take off for more hospitable environs.

They had already sabotaged the autopilot, programming in a route that would have this ship floating around in empty space for a couple of months before heading close enough to a MIRA patrol route for it to be discovered and scanned to activate the Clone Vats. Loki and Thor were big believers in sustainability - they would never wipe out all of the prey in an ecosystem if it could instead be farmed and re-harvested. 

Thor snuggled in closer to Loki, pressing a soft kiss to a tentacle that wandered aimlessly over his beard. “Do you think the brood has enough nutrients now?” 

"NUTREENTS," Loki screeched, before collecting himself with a cough. "Yeeeesssss. Their carapaccces will grow very ssstrong, my love,” Loki added reassuringly, giving a soft press of tentacles to Thor’s cheek.

They drifted together in the warm dark, the backdrop of stars casting a gentle glow on the two lovers as they kissed and whispered and shuddered and writhed, content.


End file.
